Fear of being alone…

Recently, I’ve tried to maintain some sort of universal relevance to everyone on this blog.

I think this post may have some of that universal relevance…but I’m trying to look at dating from a different angle.

There was some scripture related verse that dealt with things that keep you from God…I’m having trouble finding the exact verse…and it may have been from a Bible study I did along time ago…but my current question is…fear of being alone a sin?

I went on a date today and it was wonderful. I’m really glad I met up with this guy and spent some time talking and getting to know him. At this point, I really don’t know if this is going to lead to anything…and I’d prefer to keep my current dating life as private as possible…but there’s this concern running thru the back of my mind as far as pursuing dating and the dating venues I’ve chosen right now.

I hate being that person that’s out on all these dating apps/sites and going, “I don’t want anything serious,” and then I get kicked in the butt, meet someone, and find my mind heading in a more serious direction.

Not sure if it’s how I’m wired…but I have conflicting emotions about this guy I’ve just met. A huge part of me has been wanting to cry all evening…because I see a really good guy…and it’s not a matter of being good enough…it’s a matter about being the right fit and person…and I’m not sure if I am that or can be that for him.

I’ve shared some of my concerns with some people with whom I’m close with and are good supports…but another thing that worries me is that I feel like there’s a better guy who may be a better fit…but I’m not sure if he’s a realistic choice or option. I don’t mind being out on the dating scene again, but I feel like I’m more wired for dating relationships that lead to more because I look at dating as an investment in another person in so many different ways and would never want to be a waste of another person’s precious time or hard earned money.

Maybe my whole take on this and my train of thought is just skewed…and this isn’t me trying to brag…but I’ve been treated very well by guys, for the most part, who haven’t even dated me…so when I go out on a date with a guy…it is a very big deal to me…no matter how hard I try to rationalize it isn’t. I do value that person’s time and money if he pays…

I don’t know…I think I’m sharing way too much…but it’s on my mind…and it’s irking me slightly…

It may be time to close up shop and head to bed soon…and of course…probably time to dig into my Bible and pray about my current situation.

I do see potential, but I don’t want to continue on in a dating relationship with this guy if it’s for all the wrong reasons…

(May be another repost…but I love Enrique Iglesias…<3)


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