“The Opposite of Loneliness…” -M. Keegan

http://yaledailynews.com/blog/2012/05/27/keegan-the-opposite-of-loneliness/

If you’ve taken the time to read this essay by Marina Keegan, maybe you’ll understand my meaning. There’s a tragic back story after her essay, but that’s a different direction than I want to go in this post.

I was paging thru some old family pictures tonite.  I was trying to find one in particular, but to no avail, it was almost like searching for a needle in a haystack. However, I was also multi-tasking, so that may have impeded my search.

However, back to the pictures. Being egocentric, I was looking through mostly old photos of myself including others, but I was looking back on how loved I felt as young child. There was never a doubt in my mind about who I was and my importance.  All I knew that I was important and I was loved and that I had the best family ever. I never questioned or doubted any of those three things. Looking back at pictures of my younger self, my smile said it all, and this was before I lost all my baby teeth. Before my gap toothed stage with the beginnings my huge adult teeth emerging from my all too small mouth.

I felt like some of my old pictures were saying, “Look at me! Look at how awesome I am! I don’t have a care in the world. Look at all these wonderful gifts, etc…etc..” I think I honestly thought I owned the world at the time. Sure my grandmother had taken the time teach me how to say my prayers and I attended church every Sunday with my family, but while I was looking at pictures of my younger self, I could see that I really thought I was “it.”

The irony of everything is I’m very much the opposite of the self-assured young child today. Obviously life happened.  Life’s small and big experiences taught me I wasn’t necessarily, “it,” and there were times I took life too seriously and forgot to smile and laugh more often. I can’t say the smiling and laughing part are much of a problem presently, but it’s almost mind-blowing to see confidence that only a young child could have. I felt like I had no worries or cares in the world when that picture was taken. I was always looking forward to the next trip to Grandma and Grandpa’s, new toys, mastering my addition and subtraction facts, and tackling that new concept of reading out loud and to myself.

I also just remember feeling very loved. Granted I got into my share of mischief and trouble, but back then, I really thought the world was my oyster, just waiting to be discovered.

In short I was spoiled rotten (and probably still am) and loved (and probably still love) every minute of it.

In light of all the reminiscing…here’s a song from my all time favorite movie at the time, The Little Mermaid.

 

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