I met him on a plane. Literally, was totally not interested. I was with family, our layover was at Chicago O’Hare and we had to switch concourses…which when I was planning our flight back home, I thought we would be ok, but when we were actually thrown into the situation, I realized that planning a longer layover would’ve been the smarter thing to do.
Oh well, live and learn, right?
Anyways, the plane was a small commuter with two seats on each side. My family members were to the right and I was across the aisle sitting by a random guy who was heading back to the same area after visiting friends in Boston.
I’m not sure how we started talking. I had a novel out just in case and was contemplating taking a nap. However, one way or another conversation started. I was trying to stick with safe topics such as our professions and didn’t really want to give my name. He had just recently re-located to around the area I was from because of his job. He seemed on the lonelier side and interested in getting to know other people.
A red flag went up in my mind when he started talking about how he was just visiting a friend who had just recently got engaged. The red flag to me was when he said, “Lucky guy.”
He was trying to play the older, mentor type person and was giving me helpful hints as far as applying for jobs, which in my field is pretty cut and dry, and usually personal connections are the best way to go. However, one of my other friends had been trying to get me to join Linkedin which at the time was the latest professional social media platform.
However, we talked about that and sensing the vibe that he may try to ask me out, I started directing the conversation to a young professional’s group I had just recently gotten involved with. He seemed interested and I didn’t have a business card so I just gave him my e-mail, because I really didn’t want to give out my cell phone number.
He e-mailed me right away, like the next day right away. He also offered to help proofread some of my responses to application questions. I thought that was nice, but in the back of my mind, I also had some other connections who were probably better qualified to help.
Anyways, he wanted to meet up to meet. In our conversation on the plane, I mentioned that I had a golfed a little bit and he mentioned he had just started playing. By that point I was super uncomfortable, but was trying to be polite.
In my own desperation, because I wasn’t really interested in dating him or getting to know him one on one, I started reaching out to friends and some other contacts. No one really responded, but I knew that I couldn’t handle him or give him what he needed or what he was looking for on my own.
Basically, what happened is I ended up in a dating relationship that I didn’t really want to be in. I was trying to be nice, and wanted to connect him with other people who could probably help him out better. Another red flag for me was that my family and friends did not really approve. I kind of hid the extent of how serious things were getting between he and I from my family. Which was a huge mistake and I think they probably could’ve helped me figure out how to help him without having to date him.
There was a whole lot of unnecessary drama that ensued, mostly because I wanted to help a guy out who was new to the area. I knew right away I wasn’t the right person for him as far as dating, but he kept trying to convince me otherwise.
Live and learn, right?
We ended, mostly because of family intervention, which I was ultimately grateful for. It wasn’t pretty, but I did want out and, they provided me with a way out.
Did I mention, he wasn’t Christian either? I’m not putting down other religions, however, because I’m from a Christian-based faith, our basic ideals and values didn’t even match up which was really causing a lot of problems for me on my end.
Anyways, he and I ended. For some reason as far as dating, I was on this weird getting into a more serious dating relationship every 2 years since I started college. Not sure why, not sure if that was intentional or maybe God’s grand design. Again, who knows.
In the midst of my summer dating drama, I landed some interviews and a couple potential job offers. I was set to start my first real, full-time job in August.
The following year, I went out a few times with a colleague, which probably wasn’t the smartest idea, but I discussed it with my Dad who wasn’t opposed to the idea and had been trying to promote this gentleman, a couple years earlier because he was in the same field.
While I was casually seeing him, I had met another fellow, who was more of a professional connection and I developed a slight crush on him immediately. And while caught between 2 guys, I was also still hung up on a previous guy I had dated in undergrad.
Things didn’t work out with my colleague, nor the other guy I had met. My colleague and I, who knew about my crush on the other guy, ended up ending things, mostly because I felt like I had unfinished business with a guy I had dated in undergrad.
Did I mention that the guy who I dated in undergrad was someone who was always in the back of my mind? I felt like we weren’t finished…however, that’s another story.
Fast forward to next fall…I met someone else who was more interested in me than I was in him, fresh from a break up from a 2 year relationship.
The way I’m telling this story, it appears that I have a knack for attracting all the wrong guys…
Which may not be far from the truth…
However, this new fellow and I embarked on my worst dating experience to date. He wanted to see other people, which made sense to me, but somehow, my interpretation of what he wanted me to be was his chick on the side, which I wasn’t exactly happy or comfortable with. He was encouraging me to go out, meet, and date other guys. However, when I’m typically seeing one guy, I try to stay committed to one person at a time if possible or at least come to some sort of understanding with the person who I’m seeing about our dating situation.
The honest truth, I felt competitive and wanted to be the only person he was seeing. Our lack of seeing eye to eye on dating caused a lot of problems and caused our dating relationship to be longer and more drawn out than it needed to be.
Honestly, I was too busy with work and taking grad school coursework to really have time to meet and date other people. He was in the same boat, but seemed to handle everything better than I was.
Long story short, eventually my family and friends did not support our dating relationship. By the time he was ready to commit to something more serious and actually meet my family (I had met all of his by that point) I was just finished. We dated for about a year and then it took another half a year to break up permanently.
While he and I were breaking up, I tried reconnecting with undergrad guy and ended up reconnecting with a guy I had dated less seriously in undergrad.
So basically, my dating life overall has been one big drama fest since undergrad and post-bac, leaving me looking for something simple.
I’ll close with some lyrics by Matchbox Twenty:
“So it’s over for me and now it’s over for you…”
Figure that one out… 😛