Fear of Commitment…

Commitment about career, work, and dating has been on my brain, especially dating for one reason or another.

I like to plan things out and of course, being single and on the market, while I have certain goals I’d like to accomplish before I head into a more serious dating relationship…dating is on my mind.

So my original game plan was to go hard professionally and academically until about mid-March, when I’m going to catch a much needed break from academics for a little bit.  My dating plan was, after finals are finished and over with, I would check out different dating venues via online dating, going out more frequently, and just sort of getting a feel for the whole dating scene, because it’s been awhile.

I get this sounds sort of planned out and pre-meditated, which it is, however, I feel myself sort of getting cold feet about my game plan.

As far as dating, I feel like it sort of happens when it happens.  There’s not a whole lot of control a person has whenever he or she meets the “right” person.

However, I guess my question and overall concern is, either I’m afraid of meeting the “right” person through one of those dating venues and it working out or the opposite happening, and I try those different venues and nothing works out.  I guess I feel like I’m messing around with something that’s supposed to be happening naturally and forcing something to happen when it really isn’t there.

I’m not going to pretend or deny that, I like most people, tend to date with more serious end goals in mind such as engagement in marriage.  Also, I’m not a fan of investing my time in something that is ultimately not going to work out, mostly because that time and energy could be put to use in other areas of my life.

Call me selfish, cold, and calculating, but I’m questioning my own timing on getting back into the dating scene.  Mostly because I’m wondering if that’s something I ultimately have control over, because again, I feel like dating and meeting the “right” person, often happens on it’s own time schedule versus the time schedule I have in mind.

We’ll see what happens.  I may be worrying over nothing.  The holidays are upon us, so lots to look forward to and many things to do.

I’m closing this post with the song Endlessly by the Cab.  It has nothing to do with this post, really, but the song makes me nostalgic for another time.

#TisTheSeason #HappyHolidays



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