“You know you look so Seattle, but you feel so L.A…” -Fall Out Boy

So this is an evening where it’s nice to sit down with a steaming cup of hot tea and just sort of reflect and process what’s going on.  Appropriately, it’s New Year’s Eve, so hopefully this post will have some meaning for me and help in moving forward into the new year, which I’m really looking forward to.

As far as the music pick for this post, there were a lot of choices running through my mind.  One was a throwback of NSYNC’s, Bye, Bye, Bye, and then I thought of using Rachel Platten’s, Stand By You, however, I felt Fall Out Boy was most appropriate and catches the angsty vibe I’m feeling right now.

By no means would I like this post to be a downer, but after having an adventurous day with some family friends yesterday, I’m dealing with the whole “processing” aspect of life.  After yesterday’s adventures, I’m left feeling sad for one reason or another and just being the way I am, I find it difficult to let myself be sad when I have a lot going on and a lot to be grateful for.

However, today, I was just kind of rolling around in my mind different times of my life.  In a recent Cavs post-game interview, LeBron James was fielding questions about recent basketball games and his then upcoming birthday and turning 31.  As far as turning 31, I thought it was interesting that he brought up  how he loved being 18, 19, and 20, but he really loves his place in life now and how he wouldn’t want to be 18, 19, or 20 again. I thought what he said was very present-minded and echoes how I feel.  I’m around the same age as LeBron James, so call it an age thing, but what he said really resonated with me because as much as I reflect on what happened previously, I wouldn’t want to re-live any of my previous years and am very happy with where I am in life right now.

Of course I’m not super comfortable in this spot, but I know things in my life are moving along.

However, with the impending new year and just trying to get a feel for where I’d like my dating life to head, I found yet another interesting find on Pinterest about divorce.  I’m including the link below:

10 Weird Things that Predict Divorce

I was running some errands today and on the drive I was thinking about previous relationships.  There was a more recent dating relationship I had had and it was pretty brutal.  The guy I was dating and I were never on the same page.  I wanted something more serious and he wanted to date around because he was coming off a break up from a long-term relationship. While I understood his need to see other people, I also saw a maturity thing going on too. I was a few years older than him, so whether I was right or wrong, I felt there was a lot of maturing he needed to do before he and I could ever date more seriously. Maybe I couldn’t express that to him clearly enough, but our chemistry was way off.  What I wanted and needed differed greatly from his wants and needs in a dating relationship. He kept pointing out the obvious about the ways we did work, but I had to go with my gut feeling about our relationship, and that feeling was we didn’t have what it took to make it.

And there always was that whole trust factor too…

I’m skipping over a lot of detail, but the main take away message is that when one doesn’t get what he or she needs from a dating relationship and continues to try to make it work, it’s recipe for dating disaster, especially if both interested parties aren’t fully committed to each other at the same time.

Not sure if that made sense, however, another aspect of dating that was running through my mind was the physical side of a relationship.  I never really worried about that aspect so much when I first started dating, but as I get older, the struggle appears to be real.

My concern right now is what if all your relationship is based upon is physical intimacy?  I mean physical intimacy is definitely important in a dating relationship, but I feel like there’s so much more to a relationship than just that, especially coming from a more Christian based dating perspective.  I could go into more detail, but I think you all get the general idea.

On a lighter note, I will close with this video from Fox Sports Ohio, when it appears Kevin Love’s teammates forgot about him when a timeout was called during the Cavs-Suns game.  I didn’t really pick up on what had been going on during the game, but saw something about it the next day and thought it was cute.  The Cavs camraderie demonstrated in this video reminds me of  my high school days and my merry band of friends.  We always were there to “pick each other up” it seems.  Shout out to the old high school crowd.

Not sure if I’m entirely satisfied with how my words fell in this post, but I hope I’ve made my point.

 

No Words…

Note the sarcasm, but I found this little jewel of wisdom on Pinterest last night.  I’m not into feeding negativity, but I felt this phrase is very relevant to my life right now for one reason or another.  Believe it or not, I slept on notion of whether I should post this or not.

Courtesy of: http://bella-passione.tumblr.com/post/81642489503

My initial responses in no logical order…

“Well, good for you.”

“Obviously, we weren’t meant to be.”

“There’s a reason why you’re getting pushed away, you’re either a blessing or a lesson.”

“Don’t talk to me.”

“So you think I’m pushing you away?”

“So we’re a thing?”

“Space was created for a reason.”

“Oh you like it there?  Then stay there. Thanks.”

Now of course, how I applied this to my life or my thoughts is solely your interpretation, dear reader, but like most humans, believe it or not, I feel the urge to be snarky and sarcastic sometimes.  My reactions to this post aren’t particularly noteworthy and are causing me to reference many cliches, but clearly this pin/tumblr post evoked some reactions from me which I found worth sharing.

Good day reader…I said good day!

#TisTheSeason…

I should really entitle this post, “Forever,” because I just listened to One Voice’s version of Chris Brown’s song.  Alas, I will not because, Christmas Eve is almost upon us.

Life is good.  I just spent an evening with family and great friends, enjoying Christmas cheer and simple things, while trying to unsurreptitiously catch the Cavs game on my iPhone app.  (Just ask my wary sister…sorry, I wasn’t paying attention to the game we were playing at times…woohoo Cavs, 6 in a row, yaassss!!)

However, while my evening was filled with heart-warming fun with family and friends…I also met up with one of my bff’s since middle school and her two kids earlier today for lunch.

Call it my biological clock ticking, but after spending some time with her and her totally adorable kiddoes, it made me slightly wistful and longing to get married and have a family of my own.

No worries, that’s still aways, away, however, that was the second time in the past 3 years that I’ve had that biological, maternal urge to get married and have children.

I mean, I’m your typical early 30 something, female, who wants a career and enjoys being independent, but there are those moments when I catch myself thinking, “Wouldn’t it be nice to be married with kids??”

Again, I have other business to attend to and an ever-looming present filled with lots of adult activities which do not include getting married and pro-creation, however, I thought I’d share, just because it’s  Christmas, and it’s about that time of year when people often reconnect with family and friends.

Anyways, after wrapping some presents and enjoying a Christmas cookie, I’m headed to bed so Santa doesn’t put me on the naughty list.

Good night all! 🙂

 

 

Maybe I’ve been living under a rock…

I feel so Garden State right now, a la Natalie Portman’s character, however, I don’t feel the need to explain why.

I’m going to be diving into some dangerous territory, maybe I’m just off, hyper-sensitive, who knows.

As a female, I’ve always been super sensitive to attraction between a guy and a girl.  Like literally, I called the whole Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley pairing at least by book 2 if not book 1 of Harry Potter, when most of my friends were like, “What?!”

What I’m trying to say is, for one reason or another, I pick up on romantic vibes whether I want to or not.

I’ll keep this post short and sweet, but it always astounds me as to how people are attracted to each other, when they should probably be focusing or paying attention more to their current significant others.  I know it’s human nature, especially between ladies and fellas, but I think what surprises me is how many marriages are either torn apart by extra-marital affairs or how so many spouses just “put-up with” or never really address the issue of whether his or her significant other is faithful or not.

I feel like I’ve grown up in a protective bubble in a way, so the whole concept of spouses or significant others is pretty new to me.  However, from my limited perspective the whole idea is totally foreign to me. What’s the point of getting married if you aren’t going to stay faithful to each other? Or what’s the point of being in a dating relationship if you’re getting lonely and caving in to the temptation around you?

To me, it’s mind-boggling, however, such is life I suppose.

Hope I’m not getting myself into too much hot water.

Boxed in…

I touched on a darker period of my life briefly…and that darker time leads me to discuss dating once again.  My hope is that this blog doesn’t become my venting outlet about solely dating, but it’s something that’s often playing on the outskirts of my mind.

After I had gone through my break-up my senior year of college, my parents were supportive and encouraging me to meet people and often suggested online dating.

At the time, I wasn’t ready.  I think I just wanted to recover and learn the lessons I needed to learn from the two more serious dating relationships that I had been in in college.  I felt like I needed to grow, focus on myself, and mature a little bit.

Plus, it’s heartbreaking and draining investing oneself in a relationship that ultimately is not going to work out.

Not sure if I’m questioning my timing on this.  However, I get it’s ultimately not just about me. A key component I left out in a previous post about dating was God’s timing.

At some point in the day, I try to remember and pray for my future spouse. Maybe I need a little prayer to help me get through this uncertainty about dating.

Fear of Commitment…

Commitment about career, work, and dating has been on my brain, especially dating for one reason or another.

I like to plan things out and of course, being single and on the market, while I have certain goals I’d like to accomplish before I head into a more serious dating relationship…dating is on my mind.

So my original game plan was to go hard professionally and academically until about mid-March, when I’m going to catch a much needed break from academics for a little bit.  My dating plan was, after finals are finished and over with, I would check out different dating venues via online dating, going out more frequently, and just sort of getting a feel for the whole dating scene, because it’s been awhile.

I get this sounds sort of planned out and pre-meditated, which it is, however, I feel myself sort of getting cold feet about my game plan.

As far as dating, I feel like it sort of happens when it happens.  There’s not a whole lot of control a person has whenever he or she meets the “right” person.

However, I guess my question and overall concern is, either I’m afraid of meeting the “right” person through one of those dating venues and it working out or the opposite happening, and I try those different venues and nothing works out.  I guess I feel like I’m messing around with something that’s supposed to be happening naturally and forcing something to happen when it really isn’t there.

I’m not going to pretend or deny that, I like most people, tend to date with more serious end goals in mind such as engagement in marriage.  Also, I’m not a fan of investing my time in something that is ultimately not going to work out, mostly because that time and energy could be put to use in other areas of my life.

Call me selfish, cold, and calculating, but I’m questioning my own timing on getting back into the dating scene.  Mostly because I’m wondering if that’s something I ultimately have control over, because again, I feel like dating and meeting the “right” person, often happens on it’s own time schedule versus the time schedule I have in mind.

We’ll see what happens.  I may be worrying over nothing.  The holidays are upon us, so lots to look forward to and many things to do.

I’m closing this post with the song Endlessly by the Cab.  It has nothing to do with this post, really, but the song makes me nostalgic for another time.

#TisTheSeason #HappyHolidays

 

Whew…

I was scrolling through Pinterest and please forgive the profanity in the last line. I can’t take credit for this.  However, it struck a nerve. Not sure if it’s because I’m guilty of acting this way, however, I’d like to put a more diplomatic spin on this.

What got me is, what if the situation isn’t appropriate to choose sides? Choosing sides is situational and circumstantial, right?  For example, if one has children, would a parent choose between either of them simply because one is better than the other?  Or would a parent look at each of their child’s abilities and qualities that make that child their child and love their child simply for being who he or she is?

Also, speaking from my limited sports fan perspective, why would you choose between LeBron James or Kevin Love? Aren’t they both great players who are a part of a bigger team, with other equally talented and qualified players?  It isn’t just the James and Love show, they’re part of a bigger entity called the Cleveland Cavaliers.

I’m not trying to dim any of the players gifts or talents, I’m just saying they’re a team with different players who stand out at different times and/or during different games throughout the season.

Again, to each his own. I understand that people may prefer one player over other players, or parents may prefer one child over another in certain cases, but my overall message is that brief statement is about choosing a side. Could this person be a little more specific about what he or she is referring to?

Maybe, I’m trying to be too fair or diplomatic for my own good with regards to that pin.

However, as a reader reading this post, can one see my point?  Life isn’t always about choosing sides.  Yes, it is necessary to choose a side, weigh the pros and cons, and do a cost-benefit analysis in different situations. However, I think that this Pinterest share takes a rather extreme perspective on whomever he or she is talking about.

Additionally, I’d like to take a moment and appreciate the post’s honesty. For me, as person, who errs on the side of trying to be fair, I could totally see me being guilty of that, which again is why this Pinterest find probably struck a nerve.

However, my overall response, is really?  Is the last word of this person’s passage really necessary?  There are so many words in the English language that could express just as strong of an emotion and would probably be way more appropriate and would have just the same impact.

While my Pinterest is typically filled with overall positive messages, which are obviously tailored to my interests, leave it to this particular pin to catch my eye.  I’m probably giving this pin unnecessary attention.

On to more positive things in life…